Why A Little Adult?

Firstly, a little adult is a line taken from the book 'The Drama of the Gifted Child' by Alice Miller - a book that I've found incredibly useful on my journey. Growing up as a young, gay child and teenager, so desperate for the love and acceptance of my parents, I became utterly compliant - learning to be a good boy, a respectable boy, a boy they could love and be proud of.

In doing so, I inadvertently created a person who, so eager to please, did not lash out, did not act up or answer back. I never actually behaved or even acted as a teenager in those crucial, formative years. In short, I created a little (compliant) adult.

​

Secondly, the adult plays a vital role within the model of Transactional Analysis (TA), the psychological methodology that my therapy is based upon. At the core of TA lies the ego-state model, made up of 3 distinct ego-states - the Parent, the Child, and the Adult. The Adult ego-state sits between those of the Parent and Child, and represents the emotions and behaviours we exhibit when we are reacting and responding to the here and now - the situation that is unfolding in front of us.

An important element of my current journey of self discovery is learning to live more in the moment - utilising stillness & mindfulness to feel more present and enjoy the minutiae of everyday moments. By learning to embrace the 'ordinariness' of life within this 'Adult' ego state, whilst acknowledging and hearing my inner child and inner parent, I hope to build a more nourished, contented and creative me - the authentic me.