Does the Artist need to like their own work?

What’s the point of art? What is its function? What’s the difference between art, and a picture (hint, there is one. A Big One).

Is it important for the artist to like their own work? Come to mention it, should the artist like their work at all? What is art for, anyhow? These questions (and many variations of them) were planted (and have been growing larger) inside my brain ever since I began the creation of my own self portrait – or, to give it its more accurate (actual) name, Selves Portrait.

Why did I start this painting? Why does this painting exist? It’s often helpful in these situations to flip-reverse it, turn that question right on its head. OK, so what is this painting not for? It’s not to be looked at. It isn’t designed for an audience. It isn’t designed to be hung in an art gallery. It isn’t there to be loved, admired, revered. When we create a piece of work with these considerations in mind, the first victim is truth. Think about it. We’re insecure, social creatures. Even the most hardened of nonchalants values the opinions of others more deeply than they would care to admit. As soon as we begin to write, paint, sing or dance as if others are reading, viewing, listening or watching, we begin to self-censor, to clean it up, to make it less mad, less weird. Less honest.

So, why create a painting (inarguably, a visual medium) that is never intended to be seen? So many reasons, it turns out. I’ll tackle them in chronological order. Painting is therapeutic. Let me rephrase that; some forms of painting are therapeutic. I began my current course of psychological therapy on 2^nd August 2023. I wrote my first piece of writing ‘The 2 Selves / The Full Picture’ on 8^th October 2023. I began painting Selves Portraits on 9^th October 2023. What point am I making here? The painting began as a part of my therapeutic process, and as the expression of what I could not convey through words alone. There was no plan for the painting, no preparatory sketches, no marking out, no considerations to colour schemes, composition, balance. This was painting as self-expression, painting as play. Painting as therapy. Therapy does not follow a rulebook. Therapy does not have chapters, does not have talking points that must be covered each week. There is no plan, no roadmap to the therapeutic process. This painting will follow that exact same course – or rather, the absence of a course. Feeling the way as I go along, fumbling my way in the dark. No map, no plan, no guide to follow.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBeZSuHI4Qc&list=RDbBeZSuHI4Qc&start_radio=1

It doesn't have to be perfect - it just has to be

What a fabulously, terrifyingly free prospect this is! How often do we, as grown up people, as adults, get to just let loose, make a mess, begin something with not a clue how it will end?

Here I feel the deep need to justify my position with an example.

 OK, no problem, I actually have one to hand. Consider please, Painting 1946 by Francis Bacon. What do I see when I look at this painting? I see a man, a monster-man, his face half obscured by an umbrella. I see meat, carcasses. I see a busy, patterned rug. I see blinds. I see (feel, experience) anguish, pain, fear, death, horror.