When being vulnerable is strong

Lead with Vulnerability

A line from the amazing Brene Brown.

For what feels like the first time in my life (at least, for as long as I can recall) I am feeling incredibly vulnerable. For someone who 'always' thought of themselves as a confident, outgoing person, this feeling of vulnerability is alien - unknown, unexplored, scary. I am experimenting with leading with vulnerability by normalising expressing my problems - replying 'no' when asked if I'm okay, leaving the house unshowered and looking like shit, posting honest and unflattering self statements on social media. This whole website is, of course, a massive exercise in vulnerability.

The intention here is, by leading with these sorts of vulnerabilities, I am building brand new habits of experiencing life as a vulnerable person. I am also presenting a truthful, 'maskless' side of myself to society - part of the work I am exploring in My 2 Selves

What's also incredible, and, unexpected, is what happens when you put that vulnerability out into the world. People respond. People respond in all sorts of unexpected, unimagined ways.

Expressing vulnerability is a bit like when dogs do the play bow. It sends a signal to others - it's okay to be vulnerable here, it's okay to have some real talk. It presents an opportunity that, by opening up the vulnerability, others can reciprocate and do the same.

I've had recent real experiences of this in action, both at in person events and via social media. By leading with my own 'weakness', and expressing how I'm really feeling, I've opened the floodgates for others to be vulnerable and open with me. And when you make that level of a connection with another person, it is empowering.

Vanquishing something I am afraid of (being weak, vulnerable, pathetic) is like conquering your worst fears. It's when you make the realisation that the thing you feared, the thing you thought was a weakness, or a deficit, is actually a strength.