Self Alienation / Who the Fuck Am I?

The process of dissecting / splitting / breaking down the false self is full of risks. In fact, it can be fatal.

One outcome of beginning to break down the false self is - what is left behind? Who, actually, am I?

I've lived within this false self for so, so long, so many years. I've worn this costume for so long, I can't remember, I don't know, who the real me is.

Self-alienation - Being an alien (unknown) to oneself

A consequence of dismantling my false self, of realising that I've been living a life for other people, a life that doesn't belong to me, is being left a complete absence of the sense of self;

• Who am I?

• What do I want out of my life?

• What do I stand for?

• What are my beliefs?

• What are my morals?

Self (Alienation) Portrait

I used to know, but I'm not sure now. What I was made for

Billie Eilish

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cW8VLC9nnTo

I used to float, now I just fall down

I used to know, but I'm not sure now

What I was made for

What was I made for?

Takin' a drive, I was an ideal

Looked so alive, turns out I'm not real

Just somethin' you paid for

What was I made for?

'Cause I, I

I don't know how to feel

But I wanna try

I don't know how to feel

But someday, I might

Someday, I might

When did it end? All the enjoyment

I'm sad again, don't tell my boyfriend

It's not what he's made for

What was I made for?

'Cause I, 'cause I

I don't know how to feel

But I wanna try

I don't know how to feel

But someday, I might

Someday, I might

Think I forgot how to be happy

Somethin' I'm not, but somethin' I can be

Somethin' I wait for

Somethin' I'm made for

Somethin' I'm made for